This blog content comes from an interview conducted on July 1, 2026. For more information or context, watch the full episode where you get your podcasts.
“Back in the day, I think that’s how coaching was offered, like, ‘If you don’t change, we’re going to have to get you a coach. That’s going to whip you into shape!’ That is not at all what coaching is about.”- Laura Weiss, Executive Coach
Many AEC leaders are frustrated that the next generation of leaders doesn’t seem ready to step up. On this episode of the AEC GrowthCast, host Greg Hart talks with Laura Weiss about what coaching actually is, what it isn’t, and how firms can use it to build leaders earlier and more deliberately. Weiss is an architect by training, a former practice director at IDEO, and today an ICF-certified executive coach.
1. Consultants solve, mentors tell, coaches ask
“A consultant solves. They’re solving a problem or an issue based on their subject matter expertise. The mentor tells, meaning they’re basing their support on their own personal experiences. But the coach asks. They primarily ask questions to unlock the coachee’s own wisdom.”
The reason this matters has to do with how adults grow:
“The real reason why coaching is proven to have such impact and is differentiated from those other forms of support has to do with how we develop and grow as adults. It’s not by having someone tell us what to do or to fix our problems for us.”
She calls the missing piece the inner game:
“Your inner game is really what’s running your outer game. And most of the time we’re completely unaware of what’s going on with our inner game. And that’s where coaching can help.”
The good news is that these skills are learnable:
“There is a methodology for asking questions. These are skills that anyone can learn. I call it small-C coaching, as opposed to going through a certification program to become a coach. They’re really basic things that can have a really powerful effect on how you manage your talent.”
Her advice on wording:
“The words ‘what’ and ‘how’ at the start of any question really serve as an invitation, because you are asking someone to share some information or share some ideas or reflect on something. ‘Why’ is the most challenging of all, because unless it’s used in a way that doesn’t immediately put someone on the defensive, it can be problematic. I always like to say any question that begins with ‘why’ could actually be rephrased with the word ‘what.’
2. Excelling at the work doesn’t mean excelling at leading
“That transition point, from being a highly talented individual contributor to then being named or positioned as a leader of people or parts of the business, is one of the most significant professional and maybe also personal transitions. It’s also the one that’s the most fraught with problems, because there isn’t always a seamless transition from excelling at your job, as measured by KPIs or performance metrics, to excelling as a leader.”
She says leadership is a different job:
“Leading is about enabling other people’s success. It’s no longer about your own. And it’s not about having all the answers.”
She credits Harvard Business School professor John Kotter with a clean way to separate the two roles:
“Managing is about guiding others through complexity. Leading is guiding others through change.”
That step change is where coaching pays off most:
“That’s usually when someone like me might be called in to coach somebody, as a way to help develop the person, not as something remedial. It’s the best use of coaching, recognizing there’s a step change in where they need to go next.”
3. “Uncoachable” usually means feedback failed
Several organizations have asked Weiss whether she’d coach someone they’ve labeled uncoachable. She doesn’t find the label useful:
“In my mind, there were only two criteria for being a good coaching client. Being curious enough about yourself to show up, and then being curious enough about yourself to do the work.”
She suspects the label comes from a failed attempt to fix someone:
“Telling someone to do something or to fix something is not coaching. It’s actually a bad form of mentoring or advising.”
Her prescription is continuous, caring feedback:
“If feedback were happening on a more continuous basis, not relegated to the once or twice a year performance review, and offered with the best of intentions, where it’s about your learning, about your growth, that’s going to reduce the uncoachable belief. In marketing terms, it’d be like a drip campaign. It’s an ongoing conversation that comes from a place of very good intentions about that person, not something that’s being presented as a threat.”
4. Watch for three blind spots
The first is a lack of self-awareness:
“You really cannot lead other people, or even I’d say manage other people, if you can’t lead or manage yourself. The blind spot I see that’s an indication of this is the belief that others are to blame for everything. Everybody’s complicit in the situation that’s being talked about. But the only thing you can control is yourself.”
The second is avoiding hard conversations:
“There’s this wonderful term that was coined by someone whose work I really admire. She called it conflict debt. You are essentially accumulating conflict debt. It works exactly like financial debt. It compounds over time, it doesn’t go away. And it’s essentially what’s happening when you just choose not to engage in a difficult conversation.”
The third is one that problem-solvers know well:
“We go straight to problem solving. This is what all of us are good at and are paid to do. But you’re quick to assume what the problem actually is, and you miss opportunities for another way of looking at or framing the problem that would yield a much better solution. And this applies to people. I can either tell them how to fix it, or I can take a step back and engage them in a conversation to find out what’s really going on.”
5. Spot rising leaders early
When Hart asks what a CEO should look for in top performers, Weiss points to curiosity:
“It comes back to open-mindedness and curiosity. They go directly to an individual’s ability and desire to collaborate with other people. If the collaborative skills or desires are not there, it doesn’t matter how smart or talented you are, you will never be a good leader.”
She doesn’t think firms should wait:
“My off-the-cuff answer is that the sooner the better. There are a lot of people who think, ‘Well, when I get to level X, that’s when I start to demonstrate my leadership capabilities.’ You’ve got more agency and more influence earlier than you think.”
Waiting has a cost:
“You don’t want to wait so long that people are like, ‘I don’t know what my path is here. I don’t know what their intentions are towards me.’ And then you lose talent prematurely.”
6. Turn managers into coaches, especially for Gen Z
Weiss sees a worrying trend:
“There’s a prevalence among Gen Z that don’t want to become managers. They’re looking at the managers in their organization or the leaders and seeing burnout or lack of job security with layoffs, and they look at it like, ‘This is an impossible job, why would I want it?’”
Her answer is to change what a manager does:
“One of the big things that you can start to do is make the manager more of a coach. Enable managers to work with their direct reports, especially the younger generations just entering the workforce, to help them understand and unlock their potential and what really motivates them and what their values are.”
She argues the time is already there:
“There’s a false economy in the workplace of thinking, ‘I don’t have time to have those conversations.’ If you went through and examined how many useless meetings are on people’s calendars, you would be able to eliminate a bunch of them and find time for a 20-minute chat on a more ongoing basis with your direct reports.”
And she recommends working things out together:
“You co-discover what the issue is or the challenge is so that you’re both on the same page about it. And then the best outcomes, the ones where people are willing to be accountable, are co-created: ‘What could we try differently? What could you do differently? How can I support you?’”
Hear the full conversation
Watch or listen to the complete episode above, and subscribe to the AEC GrowthCast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss the next one.
Ready to invest in your firm’s emerging leaders? Learn more about PSMJ’s Communication, Coaching, and Leadership for AEC Project Managers program.